extra moody....

recently bcuz holiday-ing....no need to work so everyday like zombie lidat got nothing to do...online and read newspaper and outside hang out wif frenz.......almost everyday......one is to get job and now finaly get job liao....im gonna be a PFC in hong leong in taipan.......but moody about other thingz also oh........

when u alwiz ignore me and i saw that comment in ur facebook i thought u already have someone in ur life......but u just sms me 2 days ago and tell me very long neva received my msh already.....ok first of all im busy everyday reach home quite late so i assume u sleep already so din wanna sms u.....then 2nd is i thought of u dun wanna even see my msg so i din wanna disturb u as someone tell me when u dun like me and i keep on sms u end up oni will be hated by u oni...i guess.....but u r making me very confuse and lost of direction.....i really dunno wat u r thinking and wat u wan.....im so blur..

then happy birthday to dear kiu and dear quin yee......have a great one.....and 2molo will be yee mei's birthday......one of my ex-schoolmate which sit beside me 14 years ago......and din even see each other since primary school...but so happen add her in facebook and friendster....lol,so happy birthday all...and friday is jeff's gf birthday.....got celebration at the curve...so scary.......

then shiroi look very sad recently......my god,i have to say that chee bai will get his day....when raining the thunder sure will hit his head.....hopefully yee chin kam mei mei can recovered from it lah...then tiff mei mei and jun jun mei mei look like recovered a lil bit adi..although there is problem but the love is there.....i think problem can be solve.....good luck.....

wat else...i oso duno.very blur rite now...and enjoying cuz no need to go to work.......happy...everyday just being lazy lazy lazy just like a weirdo.......hahaz

moody!!

i duno wat the fuck is happening recently bcuz everything just seems so terrible......fucking iritating......like i was hurt..my leg and hands......then officially on holiday already....then have to look for job already.............then she seems like having a close new bf already...whuakakakaz,its just so so dark wei.......

i dunno wat to type bcuz i realy dun feel happy at all.....it does affect my mood...can't sleep well the other day...so terrible......but i cannot blame others bcuz me myself everything is just not stable how can i expect so many thing....i shall just be like now......focus on my career and other thingz dun even think about it anymore......and yes i must be lidat...and if she's happy then let her be loh...

and the uncle of my boss really very very noisy lah...im really not interested about all this shitty stuff.....i already got no time myself and so im not gonna touch other thingz.....not basic and just live on my commision is seriously not something that i wan......i need to survive bcuz i has alotz of commitment......im so tired...i really hope one day i can escape here and go for a sweet vacation and relax my soul.....

i saw the kite in the park 2day....and its so windy...i feel so good be in the park feel the wind....even nobody come out 2day....but just enjoy the wind is good enuff to release my moodyness...duno wat to say..update later..

vacancy

Whuakakakaz,as the title shows oh yes ang eng seng is going to look for a new job...resume was send out already......then now see where should i go.....there is ambank,hong leong bank and public bank already send resume.....then got a financial planner meeting 2molo cuz he is nickson's uncle...well we should just look into it and see if we have something going on......then direct competitor also ask me to join them.....but to be honest if join them means out of my focus already....then HSBC mortagage oso got space......lol,with intro.......why suddenly like so many post for me......i think this must be i alwiz intro people job so therefore this is my reward kah??

i dunno lah but im so calm rite now.....im not blur or stress or wateva fuck.....bcuz i already know which path next already......so i have to work 2wards all this shit loh......haihz,too bad.all the effort waste liao.....but i believe it will take me a short period then i can go far far for travel already...i believe......i mean hit target lah....lol,besides working in a bank provide more stability also lah....life goes on...

then i miss u lah xiu keng....but i dunno wats happening rite now.....maybe im sensitive or something i feel very odd.....is like there is a distance between us lidat.....haihz,maybe i need to be more aggresive??more and more aggresive?maybe lah

dunno wat else to say.......ohya oni this.....kiu kiu,recently has human interaction phobia or communication phobia....there is one day u ignore everybody almost exclude me....im so worry about u u know......plz dun do that again...i think u just lack of sleep alotz....and drink more water then u can feel better liao......and if there is anything im here to support u mah rite??although is a bit far maybe...hahahaz,gambateh and life will be better rite....

update soon lah....alotz of thinking going on..

shitty stuff

okayz hate to admit this but i think i got no choice but to change again.......and is not taking over the business.....i think bcuz nickson already decided and making everything goes on a very smooth and fast track....i dun think we got time to react over it......so yeah im changing my job probably to bank.......and im stick to remark liao........izit a good thing i dunno......but i know start from now on i got to join alotz of meeting liao.....well i got no choice but oni to join them....

so now my conflict comes.....looks like my elder bro has fucking couldn't be bothered wif them....so how??i dunno......but if i get along wif them or not me and my elder brother is still de same.....we still dun get along....we used to be so close.....im not sure the reason why...i really got no idea......am i really being too rude??am i too fucking rebelious last time?Yeah maybe i din wanna share wif him and my blog hurt him......i thought i have grown up......so i wanna do all by myself.....i dunno...im so blur rite now.....but luckily he is better now wif my dad,my younger bro,and my mom...he is trying to get everything back to the shape i think......but internally in my heart i know im being very mean to everyone in this house....i think my attitude does.....but i am who i am....i dunno will i change anot.....

Elder bro has some good friend.....somehow he is lucky to have them as friend...but on the other hand is bad to see all of them already succeed and he is still working towards there....so i think this made them a gap.....but they just dun understand how he feel i guess....i dunno how 2 help out but as usual i can only be outsider....bcuz in this family alwiz elders will not listen to younger people advise....neva.......well......

im so fucking stress and so i pick up cigarettes again.....but i think its oni a way to calm myself down.....or izit am i too bored while sitting alone got nothing to do...so i smoke and i think.......is that something rite?maybe i should just quit it again.......i dunno.....

and im missing u much...recently been busy so neva sms u at all.....but knowing u went a happy trip....glad u enjoy a relaxing week.and i start to realise i shouldn't alwiz tell u my updates bcuz maybe u just dun even wanna know.......and i shall not share anything negatives wif u.....i really very stress wif everything happening around.......fuck fuck fuck....hate all this......

hahahaz,a negative blogger and im still 1.....my blog hardly share my happiness.....i dunno why.....but im not a negative person i think........lol,beside i got a best friend which neva see her before.....we are alwiz sharing and cheer each other up......thank you for alwiz being beside me my dear....

mood-lost..really lost....and fucked up!!!!!

Changes in life

As the title show im having a situation here which again im into changes....and this changes is not my choice and its bcuz of something out of my control.......yeah my career path is alwiz so difficult to go.....whenever im going to that direction it ends up will tell me ahahahaz,u got the wrong road and so now u gotta turn back and choose the other road.....well but in the process of choosing all this wrong roads i learn alotz of different different thingz....and im glad i meet alotz of good people which help me out........

So im not worried about i can't get a job with people's help and also with my qualification.....the skills i got....But the thingz im worried is this job can get me how far??where can i reach by going through this path.....will i meet the same sign again??i really got no idea beh.....hahaz,but i know alotz of people willing to guide me and help me through this path.......although im being quite moody but i know nothing i can do......anyway its dissapointed bcuz once i thought this path im gonna reach somewhere and it will bring me to a different level........but im wrong in some way....bcuz of some inethical practice we are going to withdraw ourself.......

then im so blur of myself.........i miss u......do u know???yes i know u knew...but i duno how to be more close wif u...i really got no idea and im so stuck now....u teach me.....wat can i do??but now oso dun really have time to think about all this......unfortunately...

and oh my dear kiu, hahahaz,u r so stress with everything and become so weak bcuz i think u din sleep enuff and have not drink enough of water lah.......go drink more then u can feel much happier rite.......lol,im glad we are alwiz there for each other....we share so many thingz.......how nice if we r actually staying nearby....i think the place that we stay will banned us going anywhere together......cuz im such an silly idiot which i think might influence u to disturb the peaceful of that place......hahahahaz,but plz be strong bcuz nothing can stop a strong person......tough time won't last but tough people do.....i believe in u.....gambateh yoz........hahaz


oh my god...after update my blog i still feel shit........thingz seems sucks.......i bet im greedy and im a very negative person so my blog alwiz shows the negative side of me....sorry for those people which is reading it.....i apologise here for my evil practice...but this is actually a way of me trying to relax my soul and trying to express my feelingz and so to feel better.....in other words is SS lah....syok sendiri.....which i enjoy myself.......lol,hahaz


UPDATE SOON LOH!!!!!!

shocked...............................R.I.P

As the title show 2day im very very shocked.......early morning woke up already received a message saying that hon woon's mother enter hospital liao......okayz my worry start....but i keep telling myself that everything will be okayz.......she will be fine...its not serious.....then around 10 o'clock lidat there is a phone call from one of the auntie saying that she is gone........that accident is a joke......bcuz government block the motorbike lane.......so this bike must go on highway and it got hit by some rich people.....some executive of foreign company......and so she is gone.....

So the day start to be tough......bcuz this auntie watch me grow.......she know me when im oni 3 month's old.....and hon woon is not even born yet......and through my childhood.......i rememba i alwiz go hon woon house......we r like best buddies.....and when my mom having business outside i alwiz go hon woon house and his mom take care of us......when these aunties got nothing to do alwiz they stay together and chit chat chit chat....they all gather and cook......alotz of thingz they do.....so we r like a big family......

i still rememba there is one time i kick on the glasses and my leg bleed non stop....my elder brother and me and my younger brother oso dunno wat to do........so my elder bro ask auntie for help...so she cycle almost 1 KM to look for the doctor.......auntie is alwiz so friendly and she really loves her family...she willing to do everything for the family.......and she neva whack hon woon or ying ying before......work for the family to spend......

i believe that everyone will miss her.....and everyone will now help out hon woon and ying ying......bcuz we understand how helpless both of them will be.......but i know me myself is gonna help hon woon.....and its time for auntie to rest since she already work so hard for the family...hardly she get to rest......its time for her to rest 4eva.......a great women she is......everybody say...........

And i sumore must force myself to smile bcuz im doing marketing....i must entertain my customer in order they will buy from me.........cuz im representing the company........its so hard for me....i try to seek for help during afternoon but failed......but i still smile smile and laugh laugh.....although i know its fake......life must go on...i believe auntie would like to see us smile and laugh....she will go to heaven.....for sure.....

duno wat to say....not happy....2molo is the last time we still able to see her...after that nomore....
auntie

REST IN PEACE

stress

recently alotz of not happy stuff occurs in front of me.....im seriously not happy....just like our distributor is giving us alotz of trouble......set stupid target for us......and then compete directly wif us.....they even set the rules and i think its not authorised by the xox about the are allowed to steal our dealers...my god it means all my hard work has come to an end kah........fuck man......stupid ass....and then give those stupid numbers......everyone see's it also will not like it man......they grab nice one we get bad's one.......

career is moving no where...very stress.....dun like this type of environment........then talk about family......just last friday my dad start up a fight again......really fucking stupid when he did it so over.....he keep saying my mom outing wif other man.......sleep wif other man....use karaoke as an excuse to meet up wif those man...talk until my mom like a slut like that.......and my mom cannot take it so my mom yell at him......say wat r u done wif ur imagination ah...u crazee ah...thingz like that....okayz then me and younger bro go downstairs watch them and try to avoid any of them use violence.......then my mom pray in front of the guan yin and my grandmonther.....so my dad got crazy and he dig out those sand and throw at my mom's eyes........and he break that water put there for grandma.....and so my younger bro got very angry so i push my dad to sit on a chair and i stop him from moving......that time my mom so angry and bring the broom stick out......she wanna hit him and i protected my dad.......i can consider myself stop my mom and my younger bro whack my dad.....and stopped my dad to do stupid thingz....

then my elder bro come home....so he try to talk nicely wif my dad.......me and younger bro sit aside....but he is not listening lah..but he is tired......so he can't fight so long........then he sleep.....after that the next morning he got angry again.......he start everything again and scream and yell.......then he say his boss ask him out to breakfast......when he come home will fight again....early notice....fuck man......so my elder bro and his wife wif my niece out for breakfast too...left oni me wif my mom..younger bro sleepin....then when dad come back he really fight again........my god and as usual he say lah me this son useless lah,stupid lah,and he curse me that when im old my wife will betrayed me also and sleep wif other man....hahahahaz,wat a good daddy he is....then nvm,finaly he stopped when reaching noon.....then he talk nicely and try to apologise i dunno.....but my mood already spoiled for this weekend......then me and younger bro wif mom go out during noon to lunch wif the baby my mom used to babysit last time.....they are big now...so fun to walk around in pyramid........wif them i mean....so cute they are now.....

then reach home adi evening go for basketball.....so tired and was elbow on my chest by that big fat guy......well cuz nobody wanna guard him....everytime im there....and the basketball is satisfying,really sweat all out........but stress not clear at all.....hahahahaz

then sunday nothing much either than sleep sleep sleep......then out to lunch wif elder bro family.......in a nearby mamak.......then at nite mom and elder family go tapao...the food is so so oni....not to say nice as they claimed.....but anyway is just dinner....so dun bother about it........

then luckily kiu kiu alwiz share my problem.....i alwiz grumble grumble wif her all my problem.......although me and kiu neva meet each other before but we chat like we know each other very long adi......maybe is bcuz she neva see me before or else she will be sacred of me maybe...hahahahaz,but im glad she is alwiz here listen......but recently having a study break hope that u really can study hard and achieve ur goal u set earlier this year...cross fingers.....

finally,i still missing u very much leh......previous sunday which we dinner together and walk around its veryy sweet to me......i feel so happy can be wif u.....although we talk about oni normal stuff....but i realised that im more close wif u at least a few steps maybe........and let kevin saw me.....but we din go in any shop we just keep walking around oni.......looking forward to have another date wif u......miss u so much....

then ohya not to forget,justin mei mei and patrick mei mei recently go for travel and relax......welcome back to malaysia and work work work..hahahahaz,then happy birthday to evan mei mei on the 15th of april......stupid price tag....that staff which wrap for me is brainless....already ask her take out she just dun listen....hahahaz,apartment seems like a nice place for dinner....quite nice...hahaz

conclusion......im lost.......need a break...