all mixed up?

argh,im so so mixed up.blur blur X10........................................ Its a new year, And alotz of thing has just suddenly hit me. Lets start with work bah, actually it reach the time for my work comfirmation already but then my boss didn'y wanna comfirm me because she thinks that im not fit to be comfirm,example like 70 is the score to be comfirm she can even give me just 67 and ask me to sign on the probation extention.i was like what the fuck u r thinking? She can even tell me that u r helping enough but sales still we look at figure u know.And the thing is KRA of mine is achieve almost everymonth up till now.Seriously after that day im super upset. And then i have started to do alotz of planning for my career advancement because of my cheap salary they gave me. I dun think there will be opportunities under this person. Besides not enough support we get.how can we be competitive enough.

Anyway,there is already offer coming in and all i need to do is to wait. I believe there will surely be a place which i can go and have a more comfortable earnings. Just that choosing is a bit difficult as well.

And im very happy having a dream come true. I really din expect that to happen. Alotz of thingz i wanna say but i can't say because i wanna keep it just between us oni. So mixed up now my brain. Is not functioning huh......

dunno how 2 continue with my blog nowadays. but as i said i will update u my weekly happening just incase u didn't have time to catch up wif me again. xoxo.love u oh. missing u like mad. Really appreciate thingz u have done for me. Take good carez of urself.


26/1/10
seng

December

well,december is already here.new month new target of cuz. recently one of my mei mei tell me y ur blog alwiz show sad sad story de...i think think think,and i answer because everytime when im not happy then i will come and blog to release my moodiness?to relax.yeah after u type everything u will feel better and when u read back u would laugh and say how cute.

Well,recently there is alotz of changes.me and u were once so close babe.but now it seems like we r so far from each other..i know its different but i din wana change it bcuz i understand how hurt it is for both of us when we maintain like that.but anyway u r happy now thats the best of all.im happy for u.i dun wana force anything. yeah although i miss u alotz. but i will love u still.hahaz,i know u will say nah u won't.lol,im glad that u walk into my life during this year 2009.i feel great.hope i did not become ur memories oni.

And then,about my work place, somehow its just a very realistic place...my boss is a demanding boss thats y she can maintain at no.1 spot.when u hit ur own KRA she will say its not enough.u are below par performance..that is not what i wanna see...i wan my PFC to be top 10 percent nationwide.best is top 10.and not enough support we received from her. if im in other brance life will be much greater.haihz,just hope another 6 month goes faster so i can have some planning to increase my basic salary. yeah aimed to achieve big thingz.

then december got alotz of holiday.this is lovely. going to broga hill on the 12/13 of dec. then go penang on 19/20 of dec.christmas still thinking wanna do what..if i can that will be the greatest christmas ever.lol,hope everyone around me can have a good month this month..all stay very happy happy.

and so,my life is normal.okay this time is not so sad bah my post,its just a normal blog which dun have much excitement bah.lol,not too sad not too happy.and not very ang eng seng style.lol

have a great month dear friend.

cheers

bleeding...

i dunno why everytime thingz like this will happen to me...i dun understand izit bcuz i alwiz think of alotz of different different thing so it alwiz put up some challenge for me.....or we should call all this negative happenings in my life....

i dunno but when u say if i call u or if i sms u is actually ur burden. u do not wana have any connection wif me....besides u even ask me to not let u hate so much....when i heard this it really gives me a very big impact.....i feel like u used a knife to slowly carve my heart....then cut into pieces and then smash it with the machine.but i din wanna tell u how i feel there....cuz actually i understand im being ur burden already....if u will be not happy wif what i have done...then i won't do anything. i wil stay away from u if u think thats work best for u...bcuz the most important thingz for me is u being happy.

from the heart, i wish u have a happy future and meet a nice man that will not hurt u...all the best.and i will alwiz love u wif all my heart..


And stupid stupid,its time to wake up from ur dream.......there is nothing u must focus....just fucking focus wif ur career....lets think about money making.....go all out....or i should say i can oni work work work myself out to forget all this pain.....

by the well im not well....sick...hahaz

not happy at all..

i dunno wat is happening to the thingz around me...everything is just seems so unsmooth...commission is not coming in.....then alotz of bills has come to paying time.....then other source we suppose to have oso not yet out.

Just yesterday im starting to feel not well.then is getting worse so in the end i go to clinic and get a day off.....whole body ache and then sore throat of cuz......lil bit fever......whole body is shivering....so i wore long sleeve and long pants.cover blanket wif oni fan on.....result is im better today....luckily.and did not online of cuz.

i didn't know why im alwiz being ignore or stay away from......am i like H1N1?or am i like AIDS?i really dun understand the reason....but is not good for me anyway....But its clear that we cannot force thingz...if people wanna do that just let them do it...as long as they are happy....yeah..

dunno what to type this not well feeling making me very emotional...easily get frustrated over thingz.so i think thats all for 2day...will update later..

1st week of work.....

I can say is super tired......reason being is very simple.....bcuz a day before i start work which is sunday im out since afternoon to lunch wif a roiz....then after that jeff call...asking to yum cha...so i agree and i go....then he ask me go on his car then we dinner...after dinner we go yum cha and then snooker...so my stupidity make me reach home around 1 and then go work early at 7 something.....crazee,so monday i already scared and pantang so i go home makan....and then i thought can rest for the 1st day.....unfortunately a call come......say:jeff birthday celebration lah so asking us to go some stupid karaoke which is expensive yet unproffessional and not nice.......waste time oni......and then reach there nobody come...oni a few person.....then order the beer all neva drink.....so end up on monday nite when everything is done is already 2 something and i sleep around 3.....

then tuesday follow boss go klang visit branch there.....2nite wanna excape but they already call me and say birthday is the day so force all of us be there for dinner...manatau tak boleh make it.....so we eat nearby oni.....so steamboat until 9 something then i go home adi to rest...damm tired.....wednesday wake up damm early to go klang branch.....learn how 2 do sales...then almost whole day there...at nite shawn pulak birthday.....so must go....and so stupid this is also steamboat....so this is the 4th steamboat 2 weeks on the row....crazee liao then took alotz of picture...but able to reach home around 11 if im not mistaken....or 11 something...then sleep loh and go to work thursday...this is the one and only day im free to eat and home and rest myself....so lucky....im so tired already...

but my nightmares doesn't end......on friday bcuz is to celebrate vincent's birthday.....i go the sri petaling harbour to steamboat....the food is nice....but this is the 5th steamboat of this 2 weeks....this week 3 time....so crazee...while eating steamboat already drink beer....then finish we go station 1 and drink again...so this whole drinking thingz make me home at 1 something or 2..then after i bath and everything i sleep around 2:45.....then i woke up at 5 on saturdat to go to KL that wisma hong leong..to meet up at 6:30 and shoot up to cameron highland...but the fact is everyone is late and 7 something oni we shoot up..and the most unlucky part is that the bus im on suddenly spoiled...the oil is dripping....my god......so i was stuffed in another bus wif some seats left....im at the back wif the bus throwing me from left to right from right to left...i almost vomit.....the bus driver can go for power rally liao.....cornering like mad....and this is not the nightmare yet....

then when reach adi...we go for lunch but dun really have appetite....then eat something and go into hall for some product briefing.....not really happy wif products is alotz but incentive i dun see many....negative...then hor we go for teambuilding...holy shit where we r in the jungle and doing alotz of activities.....and i oni bring the nike...im so sad my nike is dirty already....but mother nature is best lah...love it so much.....then the air is damm fresh at cameron highland...really a healthy place.....if can go wif loves one or family then sweet......the food all fresh.....but the teambuilding until 6:30 almost 7...then we go in the room happily wanna bath and we find out the room got no water supply...fuck them lah i got so pissed off....and call them couldn't get...then we go hotel room and bath...under repair de room...so stupid......then the dinner time....i see my nightmare....fuck and its steamboat again......6 times in 2 weeks and 4 times in a week man...oh god.....im gonna ban steamboat for 2 months......no more...no more.....

then after that got some award presentation and a stupid karaoke session and drinking session which last 4 hours....i really feel is a waste of time...i dun like it.....cuz the judges r like bias.....then the drinking session is not about who can drink more.....is about speed.....so boring......then after that,we r wondering around and enjoy the air.......and unfortunately i still sleep around 1 something almost 2 cuz of the fantastic 3 ka ka cau cau.....same room wif them is funny lah anyway........when drunk adi very funny de that ah yong....

then 2day wake up at 7....extremely not enuff sleep oh.....then go breakfast.....then i thought we leaving early and im happy...manatau we went shopping.....to a market they buy so many thingz....strawberry,corn,cabbage and alotz more vege.....then go down a lil bit we go c the strawberry farm......then go down a lil bit sumore to see the tea garden....nice place....and john buy again....teas....nvm then we like wanna go back adi...then got sumore thingz they buy......like strawberry cakes or stuff...then after that potatoes lah.....then thought we r done...but is not...we go further down and they r buying more thingz......crazee people......the even buy kaya puff,then bicuits....and alotz alotz of thingz even petai at bidor.....end up reach KL at 4..so crazily tired....reach home and bath already 5.....then go out eat wif daddy cuz father's day....the bill is RM75...my god i got so shocked almost bang wall cuz we din order much...stupid place.........nvm liao then i think 2day im gonna sleep early..cuz very very tired...

by the way my phone hang again and it cuz me cannot send sms again....so many days liao...so stupid...gonna smack the phone again...1 day....

quick update....

wow this week has been busy....cuz keep on going out oni non stop..........like saturday and monday i go back to jenjarom cuz wanna do the medical card for ah yap.....and he assume that i wanna cheat him.....so he is very big......i am very small...nvm i accept this.....and sunday cuz help jeff do his online assessment....my god...terrible.....

monday after jenjorom session in the morning and afternoon.........at nite got meeting at 9......then we were talking talking there.....then ah yong when leave adi oni tell us that he dun wana work sumore....he got his own reason but basically as my understanding is he still not willing to learn and keep on giving himself excuses.......bcuz his parents pampered him.......i feel lucky for him cuz he got no commitment....and then johnathan and jason talk wif him until i reach home also 2 o'clock adi....his mind set is not in career...he is just like i work..get some salary and pass time...that is his mind set...he neva think further.....god bless him.....

then tuesday went back see grandpa he is ill.....and he make ah foo look stupid cuz foo dun understand hokkien u see.....then after that nvm..........then nite so happy we went yuen steamboat......got evan yong,tiff chin,shiroi yong,irene kuah,vivi leng,zkan,evan ong,jason teh,marcus,henry,kien fei,steven and me.......we were having fun there and joke joke around and i eat until i think my mom oso cannot recognised me lah....lol,then after done already we went macdonald for drinking session....but not all there...oni me,tiff,vivi and evan ong,shiroi,zkan and jimmy wif jason.......so we stay a while then leave.......cuz have to fetch vivi back ampang.....and on the way back saw accident......the car bang the lamp post till the lamp post got S shape so sexy.....then reach home already almost 2......

Wednesday.....this is another special day cuz i come out to meet my penang friend kent chin.....okayz this guy is funny....i go his cousin house and pick him up.....then after that we go lunch in sunway....then we walk around sunway....then his friend come we go eat again....then after that they shop in pyramid and bowling....i sit wif my friend and have some chating session....and then at nite we already planned to go bah kut teh......so we all go down to bah kut teh and we r having fun eating........so then when finish and we go home i reach home already 12 something...is a bit earlier then i online till almost 2 and i sleep......

then thursday i need to go fetch kent out again from his cousin house....so then we lunch in pyramid again and we watch movie.....then after that we walk around and go for dinner.we have some chating and playing session lah of cuz......but this day got alotz of happening which make me not quite happy...not bcuz of one person...bcuz of few reason im not happy or u can say im kinda pissed......bcuz of all this selfish ass......

And friday...i dunno y i can't sleep loh...and so i was awake the whole day loh.....then around 10 in the morning the hong leong HR call.....she ask me start work next monday...okayz cool......then 3 hours later standard chartered admin call.....ask me turn up to work on the next next monday...i was like huh???no choice i must take hong leong...bcuz the hong leong friend warn me....last time i reject their offer once.....last year so if this year i reject their fucking offer again....i will be fucking blacklisted by the hong leong group for life.......awwww.....so sad.....

and even more sad is my fucking phone got hang.......so now i cannot sms adi.....i can received but cannot sent out.....so stupid.......make me feel so uncomfortable......yeah and i miss u so much still....still......

And Kiu,i watch the last vampire blood...the girl name SAYA really look like u lah....seriously...when i look at her face straight away reminds me of u......and recently dun really have time online catch up wif u oh......hope next week after i work adi then got more time at nite to stay home....maybe???i dunno.......

and quin yee....yeah i suppose speak canton wif u...sorry lah cuz when primary school we communicate wif mandarin mah.....if speak cantonese teacher will fine us money....therefore this is the reason lah...next time cantonese kz.....hahahaz

and gloomy still goes on.......SPARTA!!

How to absorb money??

quite stress recently about the younger brother studies fees.....must come out wif some money....then after that got sumore other thingz to think......housing loan and mama car loan....besides i sumore have to think about save some money...no way for now.......whua,how can i make lotza lotza money harh??i neva can get chances to spend on wat i like....lol

dear shiroi mei mei recently very stress oh.....similar problem like that chee bai kia tak tau macam mana wanna reply people's sms....din know how to treat a gal......and can alwiz ignored own gf...thats the really bull shit of saying himself busy when he is just a student....wat da fuck u think u r....the son of public listed company chairman?or shareholder of those company....

then dear psycho oso has a similar problem but its not the same.....she finaly can take it easy and not asking too much maybe.....and she already can put it down all the past i think.....that fat ko really very childish....he need to grow up a lil bit and be a nicer person.....good luck to him....

then dear kiu,u must rush on ur assignment adi u know.this study break is for u to complete it.....plz dun do it last minute again or else u will not have the time to sleep again my dear....okayz mah??and thanx for alwiz be there for me when i need u....although we are far from each other but i think still there is no problem...we still able to be so close...thank you very much.....i appreciate u very very much...kekez,maid will do the housework if i have the chance.....permit not out lol....

then dear xiu keng.....i really dunno wat we r now......u r making me super duper confuse....maybe i did not make enuff effort to chase after u....maybe......but im really not sure wat can i do by now........but the most important thingz is u r happy......if u happy then im happy....cuz now i dun think i can have time to be in any relationshipz when i got so much burden to carry.......

dunno...but i had a gloomy weekend and a stressful weekdays......and its still goin on.....goin on....

maybe time will help me be clear of my direction....wat to do...where to proceed....

one thing for sure...i will be a successful person and smack the world.....smack smack.....

hope everyone can be happy....smile on the face after all this gloomy time....